


Always Forever

by Fiddlestixkss



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, AustriaIsBadWithFeelings, AustriaxSwitzerland, BaschCursesALot, Emotional!Basch, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, edelweiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:09:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28312146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiddlestixkss/pseuds/Fiddlestixkss
Summary: The Austrian sighed sadly, but smiled, now grooming through Vasch’s hair “Can you promise me something?”“What, that I’ll kick everyone's ass for you?”“No not that,” Roderich looked off into the distance as the wind blew lightly through his hair. “Promise me that it will always be us forever,”“What do you mean?”“You are the only person I can truly trust and you…” The brunette chuckled lightly “You help make all of my situation easier and it makes me feel alone.”The confession was unexpected, but nonetheless, hit home for him. Roddy was right. It seemed that they only had each other in all of these battles. They were the only ones that truly had each other’s back, and that’s all that mattered. He wiped his remaining tear and allowed his head to slump onto Roderich’s shoulder. “Always,"
Relationships: Austria/Hungary(mentioned), Austria/Spain(mentioned), Austria/Switzerland (Hetalia)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Always Forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Catapily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catapily/gifts).



> Hi! Okay, this is the first fanfic I am submitting on this new account and it's actually for a Secret Santa Exchange for Catapily and I had a lot of fun writing this and I ship Austria and Switzerland a lot more now. It's been a while since I've written anything, but I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> 1\. all characters are owned by Hidekaz Himaruya

“You can’t keep getting yourself into these stupid situations!” Basch adjusted the tinier child on his back and became irritated at the small laugh. “Oh so now you’re laughing?” The blond dropped the Austrian underneath the tree and was met with a harder laugh. “Tell me what’s so funny!” He once again had to protect Roderich from a group of bullies. This has been the 100th time this has happened. It was as if Roderich was doing it on purpose.

“You’re cute when you're mad!”

Basch felt himself turn a deep shade of red and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes. “You’re so weird!” The blond pointed an angry finger at Roderich. “A-And what did I tell you about saying stuff like that, you can’t say that stuff to me, I’m a boy!”

“But I don’t care that you’re a boy!” Roderich stood up on a shaky leg and threw his arms around him, taking him by surprise. “You’re my friend!”

Basch sighed reluctantly and hugged back. “Yeah yeah, whatever,” Roderich was always so touchy and had no issue being affectionate with him. He himself had no issue with it if he was being honest, it just became too much sometimes. “What if I taught you how to fight,”

Roderich pulled away and gave him a weird look. “But I like it when you fight for me,”

“What, why?”

“Because it seems…” Roderich paused and looked off into the distance “To be the only time you want to interact with me,” The Austrian pulled away completely and dropped underneath the large, shady tree with a huff. “We haven’t been able to play in a while,”

Basch felt himself soften a little and slowly took a seat near him. “Well we don’t have time for playing, we have to keep ourselves safe from invaders,”

“I know, it’s just that I miss you sometimes, do you not miss me?”

The question caught him off guard and he slumped slightly, messing with the grass. He knew sometimes he could be harsh towards the Austrian, but it was never because he didn’t miss him or because he didn’t like him. He truly believed that if he was hard on him, maybe Roddy would toughen up a little so he would be prepared to handle bigger countries because the real world was ruthless. Empires didn’t care if you were just starting out and didn’t know how to fight a war. They didn’t care if you didn’t know how to defend yourself. No matter how small you were, you were still viewed as ‘big enough to fight’.

“O-of course I miss you, it’s just that I’ve been busy-”

“Yeah, fighting all the time-”

He stood to face the other boy, now annoyed. “Well, I’m sorry that some of us have invaders to fend off and no one to fight for us!” He felt a hand through his hair stressfully. “Maybe if you fought for yourself, you would understand, but I’m fighting them for you!” He quickly regretted his words when he took in the hurt look from the other country. To his surprise, the Austrian stood up and crossed his arms, and glared at him.

“If you have such a problem with me just tell me and I’ll leave you alone!”

Basch stared at him, unsure of how to qualm the other boy's anger. The anger he felt wasn’t meant for Roddy. It was meant for the annoying countries that surrounded him and always tried to invade him. He was tired and hated them all. He hated fighting and deep down inside wished it really was just Roddy and him.

“Why are you crying?” Roderich's soft voice pulled his attention back into reality and he touched his own cheeks, surprised to feel wetness. When had he started crying? Why was he crying?

“I’m not crying!” He shouted, quickly wiping his tears away in embarrassment. 

“It’s okay to be afraid you know,” 

“Huh?”

“Every time you come and fight my battles, you always act so tough and fearless, but I just know it can’t always be like that for you,” Roderich placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and he tensed up, now staring at the floor. “It’s okay to not always know what to do,”

“What?” Basch replied, barely looking up. He slowly took a seat and brought his knees to his chest. The feeling of weakness returned and he angrily balled up his fist.

“Your neighboring countries are ruthless and you’re only just a mere country and yet they show no mercy,” Roderich sat next to him and rubbed his back in comfort. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to cry out of pure frustration.

“I always feel so weak around them and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to measure up to them!” He felt arms wrap around him and he leaned into the hug, allowing himself to sob “I hate fighting!” The small battles were becoming more frequent, the empires were becoming bigger and he felt so alone. “Fighting is so stupid, why can’t everyone just be neutral!”

“Because everyone wants some form of power,” Roderich hummed and pulled him into his chest and he allowed the brunette to hold on tighter. “The world is a cruel place, but as long as you have someone with you, you will have an easier time making it,”

“This is why I wish it was just you and me, you know,”

“Yeah, me too,” The Austrian sighed sadly, but smiled, now grooming through Basch’s hair. “Can you promise me something?”

“What, that I’ll kick everyone's ass for you?” 

“No not that,” Roderich looked off into the distance as the wind blew lightly through his hair. “Promise me that it will always be us forever,”

“What do you mean?”

“You are the only person I can truly trust and you…” The brunette chuckled lightly “You help make all of my situation easier and it makes me feel alone.”

The confession was unexpected, but nonetheless, hit home for him. Roderich was right. It seemed that they only had each other in all of this cruel world. They were the only ones that truly had each other’s back, and that’s all that mattered. He wiped his remaining tear and allowed his head to slump onto Roderich’s shoulder. "Always,"

( A few decades later )

Basch gripped his chest as he heaved, nearly collapsing onto the floor. The war waged on behind him as he slowly made his way into the nearest destroyed church, collapsing onto the nearest pew. His body ached badly while his mind was clouded with racing thoughts. Looking at his bloodied cloth, his mind screamed one thing. Break. He needed a break. A break from war-

“Y-you’re here?” 

His heart stopped at the familiar voice and he slowly turned to look to his left. Roderich. While the brunette looked the same, his eyes held something unfamiliar….and it made Basch uncomfortable. “It’s been a while,” He attempted to hold back all his emotions.

“It has,” Roderich looked him up and down “I see you’re still doing the usual fighting.”

“It never ends,” He defended quickly. There was a tense silence between the two of them. He stretched out his arms, placing them on the pew, and closed his eyes. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“I have...well had personal business,"

“In the middle of the war?” Basch’s curiosity grew. The brunette remained quiet, but Basch could feel his stare. It was a hard stare that Basch wasn’t familiar with, but it was to be expected. He hadn’t heard much about Roderich during their separation, but he was aware of how many battles the Austrian had been involved in. “Or are you having Antonio fight them for you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Antonio and you...are together now it seems,” Basch felt a tightness in his chest and a weird bitter feeling in his stomach. Before he could add on, he realized how tense the Austrian had become at the mention of the Spaniard’s name, and an odd instinct flared. “Well, how is he treating you?” He turned red at his own question and wondered why he had asked. 

“What?”

“Are you two getting along because from what I remember, you two haven’t always been on good terms, so I was just curious,” To his surprise, Roderich sat down next to him and sighed slowly. He gave him a sighed eye and watched the Austrian struggle with his words.

“It has been alright, nonetheless…” Roderich turned red “I’m just still not used to being in situations like these with other people that aren’t you,” Basch was taken aback at the confession and a warm feeling settled in his stomach. One he hadn’t felt in ages. It was one of those feelings he felt back in the day when they were together. Back in the day when Roderich would hold him, and tell him stories about a warless future. Back in the day when Roderich would hold him and tell him to not worry. Back in the day when it was just Roderich and him… ’Just the two of us…’ Another silence settled between the both of them, but it was a comfortable one and Basch couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“How has everything been with you?”

“War.” He said bluntly. There was nothing for him to sugarcoat because that’s all it had always been and will always continue to be. He felt Roderich grab his hand and pull him off the chair. He didn’t bother asking where he was being taken to because he was too tired to ask. He was too tired to do anything. Basch remained silent as the brunette dragged him through the backside of the building and to a calmer area. 

“Where are you taking me?”

“A quiet place,” Roderich intertwined their fingers and Basch felt himself turn red but squeezed his hand back. “You need to relax,” After 10 minutes, or what seemed like 10 minutes of complete silence, they made it to a random tree by a stream. It was beautiful and seemed to be untouched. It seemed like a perfect place to-

“You should sleep,” 

Basch was alarmed at Roderich’s comment “I-I can’t sleep right now I’m pretty busy if you haven’t-” Roderich aggressively pulled him closer by his collar. “Hey-”

“I quite frankly don’t care about how busy you are, you need to rest because it’s clear that you aren’t taking care of yourself-”

“We aren’t humans, it doesn’t matter-”

“Well to me it does!” Roderich shoved him back a little and crossed his arms, now annoyed “Now sit down with me and just relax!”

The blond, still confused, sat down and removed all weaponry on himself and stared at the stream. While he wouldn’t admit it out loud, it was actually nice not hearing the consistent loud noises of war...or people dying. Before he could speak, he felt Roderich lightly pull onto him and place his head into his lap. Basch should’ve refused...but instead, he allowed himself to relax a little more. 

“So tell me about it…” The Austrian massaged his scalp and he nearly let out a moan.

“Tell you about what?”

“All fighting, I just know you haven’t had anyone to talk to it about it,”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” He scoffed “War is war, it’s all the same with people dying, there’s literally nothing else you need to know,”

“Basch…” The brunette moved a hairpiece away from his eyes and he felt himself blush. “You know you can be honest with me right,” The blond shifted feeling slightly uncomfortable at the attention, but took in his words. Roderich was right. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell him how he was feeling, a matter of fact, it was the complete opposite...he was more so afraid of what would happen and how much he might tell him.

“You can tell me anything like you used to when we were younger…” Roderich’s voice took a distant tone, which indicated that he was in memory lane. As he stared at the now quiet country, a thought came to him. ‘He’s been bringing up the past quite a lot, I didn’t once think that maybe he’s trying to recreate our past times cause he’s under stress also…’ 

“You’re right Roddy…” He felt a sense of vulnerability wash over him “As battles continue to spark up, I’m more exhausted than before and sometimes I wish that…” He finally looked at him, now feeling slightly embarrassed “It really was just you and I,” Placing an arm over his eyes, he continued to speak. “I guess I just really-” He was silenced by a feeling of lips upon his own and in the blink of an eye, they were gone. They stared at each other in shock, both unsure of what to say.

“I’m sorry…” 

“Why did you do that…” Basch responded, slowly sitting up. “Why did you kiss me?”

“I don’t know, I just felt like,” The Austrian looked away, “You needed it and like I said I’m sorry, Antonio has this weird habit of giving me kisses when I’m upset,” Roderich lightly scratched the side of his face and Basch could tell the Austrian was starting to get nervous. The thing was, Basch wasn’t even mad and felt himself crave Roderich’s lips even more. He wanted to feel his lips on his own again. There was something therapeutic about Roderich and him...kissing. 

“I’m not mad,” Basch quickly interrupted “Don’t be sorry, I actually want to do it again!” He didn’t mean to blurt the last part, but it didn’t seem to matter. He impatiently pulled the Austrian onto his lap and placed an arm around his waist to secure him. “Please show me how you do that kissing thing,” Basch began to realize how deeply he craved some form of interaction.

“Well, okay just let me take the lead alright?” 

Basch nodded eagerly, not caring if he seemed desperate. Kissing Roderich had brought him a weird burst of excitement and he wanted to feel it again. He felt Roderich’s hand slip behind his neck bringing him in for another chaste kiss. The burst of excitement returned and he felt the Austrian slip his tongue into his mouth and he allowed Roderich in with ease. He had seen people do this and never once thought he’d experience it, but now he understood why people engaged in it a lot. Feeling Roderich pull away caused him to feel a little disappointed, but the look on the Austrian’s face made him feel somewhat satisfied. 

“That’s how you do it,” Roderich adjusted his glasses and looked redder than before “Did you get the hang of it?”

“Y-yeah, thank you!” Basch feared that Roderich not kissing him would mean that he would have to let go, but surprisingly Roderich didn’t move and only made himself more comfortable. “It was nice and I don’t think I’d ever want to do that with anyone else-”

“You know you can’t be saying things like that…” Roderich sighed slowly. “You’re going to find someone else-”

“No!” He said urgently. “I-I don’t want to do that with anyone else, just you,” A silence came between the two of them and Basch felt as if he explained himself too much. Jesus, why would you say that…’ 

“Yeah,” Roderich wrapped his arms around him and brought them closer.“I missed you a lot as well you know,” 

Basch cupped his cheek and rubbed a thumb over Roderich’s cheek, caressing it softly. “If Antonio ever tries funny business with you, let me know, I have no issue fighting for you again,”

Roderich chuckled lightly. “Do you remember what I said when we were younger?”

“Of course,” Basch and him fell over into a lying position and he peered into his violet eyes, as he continued to caress his cheeks. “You told me how it would always be us forever and it will always be,” He felt Roderich pull him in for another kiss and he eagerly kissed back, doing a little better than before. As they continued to kiss, it only seemed to deepen as he pulled the brunette closer and only one thought continued to cross his mind. ‘Just us...always forever…’

(A few decades later)

Basch ignored the local rumors and tried his best to block out any mentions of the situation. The past few days were full of the same news about the Austrian-Hungarian alliance.. ‘It’s as if every day, I’m reminded that we’ll never truly be together damn it, why do I keep doing this!’ Maybe if he’d stopped a long time ago with their “activities” it wouldn't have hurt hearing about him getting married to Elizaveta. ‘He’s so weak he has to keep getting into these marriage alliances!’ He thought bitterly ‘But you wouldn’t have a problem if it was a marriage alliance with you…’ 

After they decided to continue their “kissing sessions” which turned into more, it seemed that his feelings only progressed into a deeper feeling. Those nights were special and nothing would ever mean as much to him. ‘Always us forever…’ Roderich’s post-sex face flashed into his memory and he shook his head violently to rid himself of those thoughts. ‘Stupid Roderich I shouldn’t have trusted him!’ This is why he kept to himself. This is why being alone was the best option...everyone always left in the end…So why was he here listening to the brunette give him an explanation… the answer? Because he realized long ago that those "confusing feelings" were the result of love.

“Look, now that I'm in this new alliance, we can’t continue our little escapades,” The Austrian had become much more aristocratic and annoyingly uptight as the years went on. It was as if the “Roddy” he grew up with was dissolved due to constant years of alliances and wars.

“Well why not,” As much as he wanted to put up a facade and act like he didn’t care, deep down he did. “When you were with Antonio, you had no issue with us, so why now?”

“B-Because I think it’s for the best if we just stick to being friends-”

“But we are friends so what’s the difference-”

Roderich sighed, crossing his arms “You know what I mean,”

Basch felt as if a boulder hit his chest. His heart began to hurt. “As I said before, you have no issue when we did our business when you were with Antonio, a matter of fact, you seemed even more eager to be with me then!” He couldn’t help the bitterness that entered his voice.

“It’s not my fault-”

“How is it not your fault,” Basch knew the brunette was speaking nothing but the truth, but he couldn’t help his own cruel words “You’re so weak you have to keep creating alliances because you’ve never known how to do anything on your own,” By now, he could tell Roderich was mad and knew he should’ve apologized, but why should he?

“I would’ve expected you to be a little happy for me, but it's okay,” The brunette waved a hand nonchalantly “That's all I wanted to tell you so I guess this is goodbye since you’re not happy with my current situation,”

The blond squeezed his fist by his side and felt nothing but soul-crushing despair. “You came here just to tell me we shouldn’t be friends anymore-”

“We can still be friends, we just can’t do “that stuff,” The Austrian finally looked at him with an annoyed look, “You’re the one who doesn’t want to be my friend because I’m starting a new relationship with someone,”

“Relationship?” Basch was taken aback by the word usage. Even when they were together, both had refrained from using it, but Basch wanted nothing more than to label it. They were lovers. A new thought hit him. An ugly one he was too afraid to consider until now. He looked down at the ground, hiding his eyes. “Do you love her?”

“What kind of question-”

“Yes or no, Roderich…” The silence was deafening and it confirmed his worst fear. Roderich had actually fallen in love with someone from an alliance. ‘You should’ve known this day would come...it’s Roderich for crying out loud!’ He couldn’t help but smile at the sick feeling he was getting. “I should’ve known and now it all makes sense,” He saw the uncomfortable look Roderich was giving him and felt slightly satisfied. “The last few days, you’ve been acting off and you talked about her so much and started talking to me less I should’ve known-”

“Basch-”

“It’s fine,” He lied through his teeth but couldn’t let is hurt show. “It’s my fault for thinking anything between us could become more,”

“Let me explain-”

“What’s there to explain, you clearly love her!” Basch couldn’t control himself, “I don’t think you’ve ever actually loved me to begin with, it’s all making sense!” The brunette reached out to touch his shoulder but he stepped back. “You told me it would be us forever and I can’t believe I believed you, but I'm starting to think you said that so I could always be there to fight your battles,” He ignored the pained look Roderich was giving him and couldn’t bring himself to care. He wanted Roderich to hurt. He wanted the Austrian to feel what he felt right now. Pain. “You’re right, I don’t think we should be friends, it wouldn’t end well!” He shoved past the brunette and prayed to whoever was listening that Roderich would call him back or even tell him otherwise, but nothing. There was silence. ‘Always forever my ass…’ He ignored the stream of tears that fell down his tears and hoped to never meet up with Roderich again.

(Time skip; current)

He felt a tug on his sleeve and looked down to see his sister. “Is it okay if I see what the other girls are up to?” ‘That was a surprise…’ Lillian never really asked to hangout with others at world meetings so it always made it easier for them to leave before they ran into him. Even years after that...day, he couldn’t ever wipe it from his memory no matter how hard he tried and he hated himself for that. He hated himself for even thinking of that guy. Because of that guy, it was one of the reasons he greatly despised even showing up to world meetings (ignoring the fact that he strongly disliked the others). He was so used to rushing out to avoid him, he hadn't once considered having to stay for Lillian. ‘Jeez, I can’t say no and deprive her of this for my own selfish reasons…’ Sighing miserably, he hid his disdain and nodded to her but felt glad when he saw her light up.

“Oh thank you, big brother!” 

He gave her a small smile. “Yeah yeah, now be careful okay?”

“Of course!” She said her goodbye then walked off into the direction of everyone else. As he watched her walk away, he couldn’t help but feel envy at her ability to be able to have friends. Did he choose to not have friends? Yes! But it was for good reason. Not having friends and allies allowed him to stay neutral which is all that really mattered.

Sighing, he continued his walk back to his room and only one thought played like a broken record. ‘All I need to do is avoid people…’ If there was one thing he noticed in recent years is that no matter how hard he wished for something good to happen, the complete opposite happened. It seemed his luck became even worse when he realized the person who had bumped into him was no other person than Prussia also known as Gilbert. ‘Annoying, loud-mouthed-’ 

“Oh, you’re here still?” Gilbert gave him a surprised look and the blond attempted to sidestep and ignore him but failed. “Wait where are you going-”

“Leave me alone,”

“Why’re you so aggressive-”

Basch shoved him away aggressively, “You and I both know why now back off-”

“I just wanted to know why you are so anti-social-”

“I-”

A voice all too familiar shocked him to the core, freezing him completely. “Stupid Gilbert, you can’t just make preposterous claims about music and not back them up!” It was him. ‘Crap’ He needed to leave the area before-

“Get a load of this annoying Austrian dude that has been on my tail all day,” Gilbert scoffed, letting out a laugh “It’s clearly because I’m so awesome!”

“Why would you say something like that, you imbecile!” Roderich and he made full eye-contact before he could step away from the albino. It seemed that the same violet eyes he had been trying to avoid only seemed to bring one thing. Anger. Pain. Hurt. While Roderich seemed just as surprised as him, he still made his way over to them, clearly mad at something the albino said. ‘Fuck, I need to leave before-’ 

“Oh wait, do you guys know each other?” The Prussian hooked an arm around him that he tried to swat away and was put right in front of Roderich, who looked no different...other than being somewhat taller than him. ‘Why does he still look so good-’ Another crushing feeling came hurtling towards him the more they continued to look at each other. He wished nothing more than to see those violet eyes again, yet wanted to pummel him as well. ‘I hate him!’ He thought, feeling anger building up ‘No, you love him and hate that you love him…’ Basch shoved the albino away and said the only thing he could think of.

“Please,” he crossed his arm in annoyance “Does it look like I deal with stuck-up aristocrats?” To his surprise, Roderich remained quiet and didn’t even bear the slightest bit of anger, which only made him more annoyed. ‘React you asshole!’ It was as if he was reliving ‘ that day’ and couldn’t understand why Roderich would react! ‘Say something…’ he pleaded mentally for the slightest bit of reaction...just to hear his voice again..but nothing came from him. His first instinct was to cry, yet he didn’t know why. ‘I need to go…’ Shoving past Gilbert, he gave him the finger “Find someone else to bother!” He scurried off heading into the direction he originally intended and avoided all thoughts of what just happened. ‘Don’t think about him you idiot, who cares!’ 

When he made it back to his room, he locked the door and headed straight to his room. ‘Hold it together you idiot!’ Removing his weapon, he slid down behind the door and sat there battling himself mentally on whether he wanted to reply to those moments a few seconds ago. On one hand, it hurt to be reminded that Roderich clearly looked like he didn’t care, but on the other hand...it felt so nice to see him again. His heart swelled up at the fresh memory of Roderich and he wanted nothing more than to delete it...but how could he when the Austrian looked so-

“Fucking hell!” He muttered angrily. He felt a wet drop on his hand and realized he was crying. ‘You’re such a cry baby, it was just a small interaction!’ He reprimanded himself for crying but couldn’t stop himself. He felt nothing but pain and loss. As he slowly brought his knees to his chest, he heard a loud knock on the door and could only think of one person. Gilbert. He stood from his spot, furiously wiping his eyes, and stomped his way to the door. ‘I’ll show this asshole!’ Swinging the door opened, he felt himself freeze up at the person before him. ‘It’s him...slam the door on him!’ He squeezed the doorknob, readying himself to slam the door, but couldn’t bring himself to go through with it. ‘Isn’t this what you wanted?’ he asked himself ‘For him to go after you?’ 

“What do you want?” He schooled his voice into what hopefully seemed monotone and prayed that it wasn’t evident that he was crying. “You come here knocking on my door and you don’t even know what you’re going to say?” It was clear Roderich was struggling to speak, but Basch could care less about his stupid feelings. “Well spit it out!”

“Can I come in?”

“Why?”

“So we can talk…”

The blonde knew he should’ve said no and ended it, but instead he allowed him in and slammed the door to show his frustration. He stood angrily facing the door, knowing that if he looked at the Austrian, the waterworks would start again. He was tired of being sad over him. Tired of crying over him. Tired of him-

“I’m sorry,”

‘What!’ Basch was prepared for anything...but not an apology. It was what he longed to hear for so long, so why was he still sad? “What did you say?” He asked, slowly turning to face him.

“I’m sorry at how things ended between us.” Roderich’s voice held no emotion.

There was a tense silence that settled between the both of them. ‘That’s it…’ Basch thought bitterly ‘He’s fucking sorry?’ The silence only served to make him even more furious and he angrily squeezed his fist slowly making his way towards the Austrian. “That’s it?”

“Well, I don’t really know what more to say to you-”

“Then why did you really fucking come here?” Basch tried to keep his voice level, but he knew better. “To give me a lousy apology for something that happened a long time ago?” The lack of reaction only seemed to piss him off more and it was a cruel reminder of that night. “An apology you only wanted to give me to ease your own guilty conscience because you never cared for me right?” The same stupid silence kept coming back and Basch felt as if he was losing his mind. “Say something…” He whispered. Silence. “Say something..” He tried again with more force in his voice but was met with nothing. Looking up, he realized the Austrian looked pained and confused as he did that night. 

“I really don’t know what else…” Roderich shrugged and Basch felt himself drop all resolve and couldn’t stop himself from saying what he said next.

“I fucking hate you!” He screamed, grabbing onto the brunette's collar. He was known for being quiet and reserved...but this once...he didn’t care how he looked. He couldn’t bring himself to care about anything when all he felt was pain and anger. “I fucking hate you so much, you incompetent selfish piece of crap!” He squeezed the collar tighter “You are the most selfish, careless man-”

“Selfish and careless?” Roderich didn’t shove him away, but he reacted by placing his hands on top of Basch’s “I had to marry her, I thought we understood this!”

The blond took in his words and realized something. Roderich didn’t understand why he was really mad...He had no clue where the resentment came from...and he felt unsure of whether it made him feel worse or not. “I’m not mad you married her you dense fool!” 

“Then what-”

“I’m mad because I fucking loved you, why else would I be mad!” The deafening silence returned but it stopped being silent after he gave out a few hiccups from his crying. “At least when you were with Antonio, I still existed to you but when you and Elizaveta got together, it was as if I meant next to nothing to you-”

“That’s not true-”

“Then why the fuck didn’t you say anything that night!” He jabbed the Austrian’s chest, feeling his anger begin to take over his sadness. “I practically told you how I felt and you said nothing you asshole, fucking nothing and for years I’ve hated myself for loving you because I believed you’d never love me back!” Basch balled up his hands and covered his eyes trying to stop the tears “You don’t understand how much I fucking hate you!” His sobs begin to grow and he felt years of anguish begin to pour out of him. “It was supposed to be the both of us, always forever, but you fucking left me!” 

“Come here-”

He immediately removed his hands from his teary eyes and glared at him, hoping his hatred was evident “Fuck off you aristocratic douche-bag!” The insult wasn’t enough to stop Roderich from grabbing onto his wrist and pulling him in some random direction. He should’ve pulled away and kicked him out, but his emotions were too all over the place. He wanted to beat the ever so living shit out of him...yet wanted comfort because no one was able to comfort him better than Roderich. It’s always been him. “Why the fuck did you bring me into the bedroom-” He was silenced by a pair of lips on his own and he struggled slightly, but Roderich’s grip on his wrist remained tight. He didn’t want to enjoy it, but he couldn’t help himself and cry even more. ‘I hate loving this idiot...I hate it…’ 

“Look at me for a minute!” Roderich’s voice was stern and he felt himself looking at him without hesitation. “You have every right to hate me and I hate me too-”

“You don’t fucking understand-”

“Yes, I do!” The brunette cupped his cheeks and forced an intense gaze between the both of them. “I need you to understand that I hated myself for not reacting that night either and it’s one of my biggest regrets!” Roderich sighed sadly and Basch slowly picked up on what he was about to say. “I love you and I’ve loved you since we were kids-”

“Stop-”

“I loved you when you defended me in battles, I loved you when I was with Antonio, I loved you when I was with Elizaveta and I still love you now!”

“Then why-”

“Because I didn’t understand that it was love and then that night…” The Austrian paused, looking away “I didn’t realize how much you meant to me until you left, and watching you walk away hurt more than I thought-”

“Yeah well, I felt like you ripped my fucking heart out!” He attempted to swat the comforting hand away but failed. “You think telling me you love is going to fix everything?”

“No it won’t and I know you don’t trust me, but I want you to believe me when I at least say that I never loved her or anyone else for that matter you are the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with, it’s always been you!” Roderich relaxed a little. "I missed you like crazy and it hurt knowing that I could never see you again because I knew I messed up,"

Basch felt his heart cry with joy, but he couldn’t help but feel on guard. Allowing himself to get happy was lethal at the moment, but just this once… he could indulge. This time he made the move to silence Roderich with a kiss and was glad it was received. He wrapped his arms tightly around him, afraid to let go. Afraid Roderich would leave him again. They both plopped onto the bed and he couldn’t help himself and continued to kiss him a bit sloppier than before. He needed this more than he thought. He needed ‘him’. The Austrian pulled away and he pulled back slightly, realizing how overboard he went. He opened his mouth to apologize, but the Austrian beat him to it

“Basch, do you think that maybe we could try something?”

He sighed scooting a little farther away “What do you mean by that?”

“Like between you and I?”

Basch stopped himself from agreeing to eagerly. There was still a sense of fear in him. He was still angry and hurt and as much as he wanted it to go away, it wasn’t going to just leave because of this. “I…”

“As I said, I know you still hate me and you have every right to feel the way you do, so I’ll wait,”

“Wait?”

“Wait for you to forgive me or until you trust me again,” Roderich continued to stare at him, causing him to turn red. “I have all my life you know,” the Austrian chuckled a little and let out a huff. “I love you more than anything and I don’t want to lose you again because you mean so much to me…”

This time Basch felt tears from his eyes, but they were happy tears. That was all he wanted to hear. His love for Roderich only became more and he couldn’t bring himself to speak but felt a hand wipe his tears. ‘He never uses his hands for these things...and he’s willing to wait?’ He heard him mutter something along the lines of “not wanting to see him cry.” and scratched his head. “Okay…” 

“Like okay as in were in a relationship or okay as in you need time?”

“Okay as in I need time, but please…” He looked away, feeling more vulnerable now than ever in his life. “Don’t leave me again, because I can’t…” He was cut off by a soft kiss and he quickly kissed back as arms began to wrap around him. Soft arms. Comfort arms. Roderich’s arms... Only his...

“It’s like I said…” Roderich intertwined their fingers and placed a small kiss on his forehead “It’s always going to be just us, always and forever.” The blonde nodded and allowed Roderich to hold him and felt nothing but bliss. He allowed himself to finally relax as he held onto the brunette and could only think of one thing. ‘Always, forever…’ 

**Author's Note:**

> Oof! I feel so bad for putting Basch through that, but at least we ended happy right? And I love Austria so much so writing him like that hurt me a lot, haha! 
> 
> The title actually comes from the song "Always Forever" by Cults, which is one of my favorite songs and I felt like it matched these two love birds..Just kidding...unless...
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!


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